Druken Confessions
by Sighanne
Summary: Based on prompt from spiralingpoetry on tumblr one-shot with swan queen with caring!regina and orphaned Emma dealing with her fear of love/abandonment/etc
**For crestalp**

After a rough day of doing what the savor does Emma was sitting at the rabbit hole drinking a cold beer. She had been deep in thought when her phone went off.

Regina: Do you have plans for dinner tonight?

Emma: Nope

Regina: Would you like to come over? I'm making that chicken dish you like.

Emma: Sure. As long as Robin is ok with it.

Regina: He won't be here.

Emma: Alright. I will be there.

Regina: Great! See you at six.

Emma smiled as she paid for her drink and put her phone away. She liked spending time with Regina when it was just the two of them or just the three of them. She has been feeling a little out of sorts and sleep hasn't come easily lately. Maybe some one on one with Regina would help her get focus. So with a deep breath she made her way back to her bug.

When she got to the Mayor's door she felt herself relax a little. Flashes of some of the first times she came to this door flew through her mind. All she could think was How things have changed. After a couple raps on the door Regina swung it open for her.

"Good evening Emma." Regina gave her a winning smile as she moved to the side to let Emma in.

Emma felt herself smile as she took Regina in. "Thanks." Regina closed the door behind her and started towards the kitchen. Emma was right behind her, "Smells good in here."

"Thank you. It should be almost done." Regina walked around to the oven to check the timer she placed. Emma took a seat at the kitchen island.

"So is Henry joining us tonight?"

After making sure everything was still simmering the way she needed it to Regina turned to Emma, "No. He is staying at a friends house tonight and Robin is staying with his friends in the woods. They wanted to go hunting or something." Regina waved the last words off like it just didn't make sense.

Emma smiled at the brunette, "Well at least that gives us time to catch up."

Regina looked down then back up at Emma, "I must confess Henry and your parents asked if I would talk to you."

"What?…Why?"

"Well…They think that you have been a bit lost since we got back without Hook. You tend not to talk to people about what's going on in your head. They worry."

"And you?" Emma was curious about what the Mayor's thoughts on herself.

"Well I think that is why you and I get along so well. We tend to be in our heads more so then speaking to the ones who care about us."

Emma nodded, "Yeah well I just don't know what to think. I thought he was the one."

Regina shook her head, "He wasn't very good for you. You lost pieces of yourself to him. I just wish you could see that."

Emma ever the runner sighed and changed the subject, "Well it is what it is. How is dinner coming along?"

Regina didn'twant to let her change the topic but for now she would. Turning around she checked and dinner was done, "Why don't you get yourself a drink and I will bring the food to the dinning room."

"Sounds good." Emma got up and went to pour her some of that famous apple cider. With a couple quick gulps she downed the first glass before Regina entered with the food. After a few minutes she poured herself another and was halfway through it when Regina walked in with dinner.

"Hope your hungry," Regina said with a smile and playful tone.

"You bet I am." As soon as the plate was sat in front of her Emma dug in. Regina took her time and actually tasted her food. When Emma was done with her meal and third glass of cider she sat back with a satisfied smile. "Good as always Madam Mayor." Emma said with a wink.

Regina shook her head, "Why thank you Sheriff. It is always nice to hear I've still got it." They both laughed as Regina started to pick up the plates. "I will get these in the sink. Lets have a night cap in the living room." Emma just nodded as she filled her glass up to almost the rim before going to the living room.

Regina noticed that Emma was drinking a bit heavier than usual so decided she would recommend that Emma stay the night here. After the plates and the food was all taken care of she grabbed a fresh bottle of cider and made her way with her own glass to the living room. Emma was staring into the empty fireplace while she waited.

"See something interesting?" Regina took a seat next to Emma.

Emma chuckled, "I was just thinking about life."

"Rough topic," Regina joked.

Emma gave a sad smile before looking back into the darkness. "It can be as far as some are concerned." She kept her eyes on the fireplace but motioned between the two, "Like the two of us. We have seen more then we would have liked and probably caused more death then we care to admit." Emma took another long drink of cider.

"Yes but those things are what makes us who we are." Regina reasoned.

"Even when I became the dark one," Emma questioned.

"You did what you thought was needed. Evil tends to make us see things differently." Again Regina was trying to reason with Emma.

"What about those who hurt me in this world? Are they evil then?" Emma finished off another glass and moved to fill it again. Regina had barely started on her first one.

"There is all kinds of evil in any world. Leaving here with you like I did made me see that. Storybrooke was very very tamed compared to the few places we ventured."

Emma thought about it for a moment then smiled, "True. For someone who is so evil you sure took care of your people."

"I wasn't as bad as I let people think." Regina threw a fireball into the fireplace, "The flames are easier to get mesmerized

in." Silence took over once again. Both women thinking about their lives. Regina let out a sigh when she remembered some of her mother's punishments.

"You know," Emma interrupted the silence, "I hate being me at times."

Regina was a little startled at the statement, "Why?"

Emma shrugged, "It seems as if I am unable to find love. I mean like the something my parents have. They just know things about each other and love without question. I have never found that." Emma was on her fifth glass of cider and was feeling its warming effects. She felt herself relaxing and talking was easier.

"From the sounds of it you made it seem like you found that with Hook." Regina mentioned as she downed the rest of her glass. She hated bringing up guy liner so she needed something to help her get through it.

"I did to. I guess if I'm actually honest I know that wasn't and isn't true." She finished off her cider and filled it again. "I just want to be loved by someone who gets me." She looked at Regina with this confession. Regina stared into her eyes and tried to think of something to say. "I know that I may never get it but I guess I really am Snow White's daughter." She gave a sad chuckle.

"I respect that you still have that hope. I know that you will find someone." Regina finally managed to say. "Why did you hold on so tight to Hook?"

"I guess he seemed to put me first. He came after me over and over it just wore me down maybe." Emma sighed, "I just felt like an actual hero when he was around."

"Why though?"

Emma stared at Regina for a moment before looking back at the fire, "Growing up going from place to place you find out real quick how to feel like your only good for one thing. Be that money from the state or more physical activities. Someone always wanted something from you. It doesn't matter your age or gender or race as long as you gave them what they wanted." Regina's heart sank at the thought of Emma being used by others like this. She knew the feeling well and hated that she was the one responsible for Emma's life. She wrapped an arm around Emma and pulled her close. "It seems like love was just for the fairy tales." Emma added before moving to fill her glass yet again.

Regina snorted at this statement, "Only certain ones dear."

Emma looked at Regina and felt like she really wasn't alone, "It's nice to talk to someone who understands it. I know my parents aren't perfect but they haven't had to go through half of what we have." Emma sighed and shook her head, "Maybe I am a villain and won't get my happy ending." Emma slammed another glass of cider and looked at Regina, "Maybe I just don't want it." Emma said after filling her glass again and falling back into Regina's arms.

Now that shocked the former Evil Queen, "What?"

Emma shrugged, "Maybe I don't want it because I'm afraid that if I get it they will just leave me like everyone else. I mean I was given back to the system so many times. Then Neal just left me...A few times. Hook even took to darkness the second he found out he was a Dark one. Everyone leaves me so if I never find it then maybe that is for the better."

Regina felt her heart ache at this confession. Why did the person who brought so much hope to everyone seem to be so hopeless? Regina didn't like it and she wasn't going to let this continue, "You will find the person who is right for you Emma. The issue is that you have to stop looking for what your parents have and start looking for what you need. If you find someone like them you will not be happy. I mean we've become better friends then you and your mother. You need someone who understands your struggles. Not just being on the side of good but the darkness that goes with your past."

"Then I need to find someone like you." Emma declared. When she downed another glass she looked at Regina, "Do you know anyone like you?"

Regina froze for a moment at Emma's declarations then finished off the rest of her second glass of cider. Emma stared at her expectantly but Regina couldn't give an answer. Finally Regina spoke hoping humor would help the situation, "Sorry dear the mold was broken." Emma looked into her eyes and smiled wide at the joke. Regina felt a little better about the situation now that Emma was smiling.

"Well then maybe I should just see what happens with you?" Emma eyes said she was confessing more than she should have while drunk.

Regina put her glass down and hugged Emma tight, "We will need to talk about this more when you aren't so inebriated Emma."

Emma wrapped her arms as tight as she could around Regina, "Or maybe we can just chalk it up to alcohol."

"Not happening Emma," Regina pulled back and looked at the blond.

Emma sighed, "Fine but no more of this deep stuff."

Regina shook her head, "Yes more of this. No matter what you think Emma you have so many people who love you and will do anything for you...Including me." Regina finished with a pounding heart.

Emma smiled, "Thanks Regina."


End file.
